Wrong on so many levels

On Monday night, the Twins became part of a disturbing trend in professional sports by offering an "all you can eat" promotion. For 33 bucks, fans could gorge themselves on all the basics -- hot dogs, pretzels, popcorn, soft drinks -- from the time the doors opened until the end of the eighth inning.

Now, I'm going to try to avoid coming across as a fun-killing prude here, because I know teams and their fans are always looking for ways to inject a little fun into the game experience. But this is just wrong on so many levels. First off, do Americans (especially sports fans) really need to be encouraged to eat more junk food? The fattest nation in the world does not need an incentive to stuff more hot dogs down its gullet. And trust me, I've eaten in the Metrodome many times -- this isn't a fine-dining experience. Quantity trumps quality at the Dome even if you're only having a bite of one pretzel.

Let's not even get into the whole "kids are starving in Myanmar and we're being gluttons" angle, because this food isn't going to go to Myanmar if it doesn't get eaten by Joe from Apple Valley. It's not that this is bad for the starving children (and adults) around the world, or even in our own back yard. It's bad for anybody who participates in this promotion. And it's a bad sign that professional sports are encouraging and enabling obesity among its fans.

Check out some of the anecdotes from the Strib story, including the guy who bought a brand new pair of cargo pants at the Mall of America before hopping on the light rail to go to the game. Yes, he wanted to make sure he had enough pockets available to stuff with pork products and empty carbs so he wouldn't actually burn some of those calories walking back to the concession stand more than necessary.

Or the foursome that had hammered home 15 hot dogs before the game even started. Or the family that took their kids "to dinner" at the game, but started with hot dogs so the children at least got their protein.

And finally, because the game went 12 innings but the promotion ended in the eighth inning (so the vendors and counter staff could clean up and get home), we get this post from a slob who apparently thinks "all you can eat" is false advertising (scroll down to 9:20 a.m.):

"The all you can eat promotion was shut down 4 innings before the game ended. Extra innings or not, they need to be open until the game is over. That’s horrible cusotmer (sic) relations. If you want to save $$$ by closing down in the 8th inning, then tell your bullpen to throw strikes and tell your overpaid RF to learn how to hit with men in scoring position and less than 2 outs."

Another fine example of the "it's all about me" crowd, which is exactly who this promotion is targeting. In an instant gratification world, stuffing your face with endless crap food feels good right now, so let's do it, regardless of whether it's good for you in the long run.

I can hardly wait for the lawsuits to start trickling in against the Twins when the fans who purchased these tickets start dropping dead of cardiac disease in the next few years. That's the logical next step -- well, that and a section of double-wide seats for these fans at the new ballpark.