Week 14: The grim parlay

Wrestling is such a humorless sport. I understand why -- those guys work too hard to take it lightly. Plus, defeat is so personal -- mano-a-mano, nobody to blame but yourself -- and even if you win, the potential for defeat lurks in your next match.

I covered a big collegiate wrestling tournament this weekend at the Las Vegas Convention Center, and I bet I saw maybe three wrestlers crack a smile for a grand total of 6.7 seconds over the course of two nights. The medal presentations would have been funny if they weren't so crushingly grim -- the top eight finishers in each weight class on the podium, holding plaques and staring straight ahead with the stony expression of your average pallbearer.

But like I said -- I get it. In the minds of most of those wrestlers, seven of them were losers. And the eighth guy, the one with the biggest plaque? He's already looking ahead to his next match, his next tourney, the next time he'll be called upon to stave off the icy clutches of defeat.

You can read my recaps of the tourney here and here. I hope I'm happier on Sunday night when I'm holding the ticket that features this five-game NFL parlay:

• Colts -13.5 vs. Cincinnati -- Let's hope last week's brutal offensive showing in Cleveland was a weather-induced mulligan.
  
• Titans -13.5 vs. Cleveland -- With Ken Dorsey under center, the Browns will be lucky to score again this year. At all.
• Patriots -4.5 at Seattle -- Once again, I'm going with the "Belichick teams don't lose two straight" theory, aided by the "Holmgren teams suck in 2008" theory.
• Cowboys/Steelers over 39.5 -- I know, Barber is out, but that will mean the Cowboys will be more inclined to throw the ball, which lengthens the game and creates multiple scoring opportunities.
• Ravens -5.5 vs. Washington -- Just look at the numbers Baltimore's offense has been putting up lately. It's not quite up to Oklahoma's standards, but for the NFL that's pretty lofty territory.

Last week: 1-4
Season: 32-31-2