I know, we're two weeks into the baseball season and I haven't written about the Twins yet. I was going to say something about the two-game series against Detroit, but I discovered there aren't enough expletives in the English language to accurately describe my feelings.
However, fear not -- the NFL released its 2008 schedule yesterday, an annual gift to football-starved geeks like me, and given that it's almost five months before the season begins in earnest, we might as well take a long, hard look at the Vikings' schedule and see how the season will play out. Sure, it's early, and we don't really know who's going to be good next year and who's going to suck, but that doesn't stop the NFL from holding a draft every spring either, does it?
And away we go ...
Sept. 8, at Green Bay -- Opening on Monday Night Football in the first Breffarveless game in Lambeau since 1991 (maybe). Tough draw. LOSS (0-1)
Sept. 14, Indianapolis -- Peyton Manning avenges his kid brother's ignominious defeat to the Purple Horde last fall. LOSS (0-2)
Sept. 21, Carolina -- Probably an ugly game, probably an ugly win. WIN (1-2)
Sept. 28, at Tennessee -- T-Jax is a poor man's Vince Young. A very poor man, indeed. LOSS (1-3)
Oct. 6, at New Orleans -- Another Monday night game, as Adrian Peterson runs wild on the Saints' D while struggling Reggie surpasses George as the least popular Bush in town. WIN (2-3)
Oct. 12, Detroit -- Come on, they're still the Lions. WIN (3-3)
Oct. 19, at Chicago -- Peterson still a Viking? Check. Rex Grossman still a Bear? Check. WIN (4-3)
Oct. 26 Bye
Nov. 2, Houston -- Kailee Wong's revenge. LOSS (4-4)
Nov. 9, Green Bay -- Scores of forlorn Cheesheads wander the Metrodome plaza in No. 4 jerseys, too drunk and sad to make it inside to witness the carnage. WIN (5-4)
Nov. 16, at Tampa Bay -- Local strip club owners rejoiced, until they realized Dwight Smith no longer plays for the Vikings. LOSS (5-5)
Nov. 23, at Jacksonville -- Pat Williams loses 23 pounds chasing Maurice Jones-Drew in the Florida humidity. LOSS (5-6)
Nov. 30, Chicago -- Sunday night, NBC, John Madden makes 14 tortured analogies trying to compare Grossman and Breffarve. WIN (6-6)
Dec. 7, at Detroit -- The three words that describe the Lions are as follows, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Millen." WIN (7-6)
Dec. 14, at Arizona -- Vikings bring cheerleaders on the road to distract Leinart. It works. WIN (8-6)
Dec. 21, Atlanta -- Bobby Petrino shocks the world by announcing that he's quitting on the Arkansas Razorbacks to coach the prison football team in Leavenworth, Kan. WIN (9-6)
Dec. 28, New York -- Needing a win to clinch a playoff berth, the Vikings import 50,000 New Yorkers to boo the crap out of Eli "Yeah, But What Have You Done For Me Lately?" Manning. WIN (10-6)
So there you have it -- 10-6, and given the general crapitude of the NFC North, good enough for a division crown. Remember, you heard it here first.
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4 comments:
I remember back in ulm, juni and I used to always bet on the queens. I would have under eight wins every year and he would have over. Most years, we were pretty close, but that Steckle debacle (3-13 or so?), was quite a windfall!
Earlier, I played out the season and had the queens at 8-8, but with the cheddar losing Number 4, another win might be in the equation.
Who knows, with a decent draft and a weak central (oh yeah, north), the queens could be back on top of the ole black 'n blue division.
I think the North is really gonna blow this year. The Pack will struggle without Favre and with the league catching up to the whole Ryan Grant thing (there's a reason he was cut by the Giants -- eventually the NFL scouts will figure that out). The Lions are the Lions, with no QB and another new offense to learn. And the Bears -- as long as they cast their lot with Rex, they're going to be in deep doo-doo. So the Purple could win the division at 8-8 -- but I think with Peterson, slight improvement from T-Jax, and the possible addition of Jared Allen (fingers crossed), they should be able to win 10 games and salt away a playoff berth somewhat easily.
Grant was actually acquired via trade with NYG.
Speaking of trades, please feel free to give up those picks for Jared Allen! (Oops! I already forgot #4 is no longer in the GB backfield...nevermind, A-Rod doesn't need the extra hits.)
My point being, the Giants were going to cut Grant loose, so the Pack secured his rights with, what, a 7th-rounder? Either way, he'll be exposed as a FRAUD this year.
OK, enough hyperbole. I love Jared Allen and would do that trade in a heartbeat.
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