Today's subject: Ray Ratto, sports columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle and CBSSportsline.com. Why do I like Ratto? I've never met the guy, but he seems like the kind of person I'd enjoy talking to. His writing style is conversationally formal -- i.e. he sounds smart without sounding like a professor. And his sense of humor comes shining through in every column. My earliest recollection of a Rattoism was his mention of a streaker at the Oakland Coliseum, "wedding tackle dangling in the breeze." I thought that was clever, and pretty bold for a mainstream newspaper, especially in the sports column. Plus, he's a tubby, cynical sports guy, so you could say he's somewhat of a personal role model of mine.
Here's a recent column from Ratto's Chronicle archive that helps illustrate what I like about him. It's about the possibility of Major League Baseball adopting some form of instant replay to correct umpire mistakes. Here's the lede:
Rumor has it that Major League Baseball is attacking its current spate of blown calls in a fascinating way - by flirting with the idea of using replay in the Arizona Fall League.Other gems include his notion that the controversy is again a hot topic because the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez lost a home run to a missed call last week ("if a Yankee or Red Sox player sneezes, someone wants to make antihistamines mandatory"), as well as his description of player/manager/umpire arguments: "angry men in knickers who believe they have been wronged act(ing) as though wasp hives have been forcibly inserted in their delicates."Which is to say that in its forward-thinking view, baseball thinks the way to test the efficacy of replay is to use it in venues where few people care about the original call, let alone a second view of it.
See? Who wouldn't like a regular dose of that kind of prose? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mr. Ray Ratto!
2 comments:
Ratto is an underutilized guest in Bump's Rolodex. More Ratto, please; less Pat Kesler, Vince Flynn and Lou Nanne.
I don't get the obsession with Louie. Great guy, Minnesota icon, but in case Bump didn't notice, interest in hockey in Minnesota isn't at an all-time high. Once every two weeks might make sense, but a weekly spot?
Kesler is OK with me because I like political talk, but their inside-jokefest gets on my nerves at times. And Vince Flynn ... where do we go with this? As Chad would say, "I wish I had his bank account!" But every time he's on it turns into a parade of fawning fans and right-wing sycophants, and it'll get even worse if Obama wins the election in November.
Meanwhile, Ratto keeps churning out greatness out in the Bay Area and Bump will only have him on if the Vikings are about to play the Niners.
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