Tuesday, July 15, 2008

ASG Live Blog: Extra Innings

8:50 p.m. I'd love to see this thing go 15 or so innings and have Francona leave Rivera in there to pitch the whole thing. With the Yankees going to Fenway this weekend and the way the mooks in the Bronx treated Papelbon, even Earl Hickey would give Francona a karmic pass on that one.

8:53 p.m. Sweet DP turned by the Texas Rangers middle infielders, with the Big Canadian on the back end of a 4-6-3 to bail out Mariano. Maybe Kinsler and Young will get a cookie fastball from Mo the next time they face him. Otherwise, Mo's on the hook as the losing pitcher in the last All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium.

8:57 p.m. OK, who did Dan Uggla piss off? Because that's just a sick way to get noticed on the national stage. Back-to-back errors in the 10th inning of an all-star game is not something you want to see on your baseball resume.

9:03 p.m. Uggla gets the monkey off his back a bit by getting the first out of the inning at the plate. Then Guzman makes a decent play at third, considering he's a shortstop. Now it's up to the Big Canadian ... and he can't get it done! We're going to the 11th! Uggla's career has been saved! And Bud Selig's ulcer just throbbed a little.

9:18 p.m. And once again, technology rears its ugly head as Kinsler is called out at second base on a steal attempt. Problem is, Tejada never tagged him, and the slow-mo made that painfully obvious. Even to the naked eye, you could see that Kinsler had made a great slide to the back side of the base and Tejada just swept his glove through the zone where the runner's foot is usually found. The ump relied on the old 'the ball beat him' rule and called him out ... and the band played on.

9:22 p.m. Unreal. Nate McLouth throws Dionner Navarro out at the plate. Aaron Cook has given up hit after hit after hit and yet he's still got two outs in the inning. And as it turns out, Navarro beat the tag as well -- his foot was on the plate while Russell Martin was tagging him in the crotch. But the throw beat him. And with another fine play by noted third baseman Cristian Guzman, Cook is out of another jam and we're on our way to the 12th inning.

9:31 p.m. A walk, a bunt hit, a sacrifice and an intentional walk have loaded the bases for Uggla, who really, really wishes this night would end quickly. Soria broke off one of the wickedest 12-to-6 curveballs you've ever seen to finish him off in three pitches. Here comes George Sherrill to try and get Adrian Gonzalez. The only thing I know about George Sherrill is that he told Sports Illustrated that if a movie were to be made about his life, he'd want Denzel Washington to play him. Oh, and he's white.

9:33 p.m. The worst part of extra innings? More airings of that Baby Ruth commercial. You know, the one with the giant bobblehead guy playing the ukulele and singing horribly? Yeah, that one. I'd love to hear about that ad pitch. "How can we sell more candy bars? I know -- an annoying guy with a ukulele!"

9:36 p.m. I now know this about George Sherrill -- he can strike out Gonzalez on three pitches to retire the side. I hope he's got about four more innings in him, the way this one is going.

9:40 p.m. Hey, Uggla made a play! Well, sorta. At least he got the out. The winning run is 90 feet away. Longoria just needs a fly ball. The Big Canadian is on deck. Do you get the sense that McCarver is impressed with Russell Martin? I know you were a catcher Timmy, but try to keep your gushing to a minimum. You're starting to sound like Paul McGuire describing a punter.

9:43 p.m. Longoria whiffs. Aaron Cook could wiggle out of this one again! They walk the Big Canadian to get to Kinsler. He's just the leading hitter in the American League. But he's not the Big Canadian! They didn't even try to throw out the Big Canadian at second! Defensive indifference, my ass -- they knew they had no chance! Yes, I'm getting a bit loopy by now.

9:46 p.m. Kinsler grounds out to Guzman. We're going 13. Selig looks like he just swallowed Rod Carew's chaw.

10:00 p.m. Uggla apparently is trying to win the MVP for the American League. His third error -- on a bad hop, let's all admit it -- puts Drew on first base with one out. Carlos Marmol, who gave up five runs in one inning his last time out, has been trotted out to end this thing. Buck just said that Scott Kazmir -- the last pitcher in the AL bullpen -- has sat down again after previously getting stretched out. With Sherrill already having gone 1 1/3 innings, you have to think he's done.

10:02 p.m. Drew steals second as Michael Young strikes out. One more shot for the AL, Carlos Quentin. If he can't bring home the run, we'll see if we're going to get another inning, and if so, who will throw it. Bud Selig might be dead right now, for all we know.

10:05 p.m. Quentin strikes out. It's after 1 a.m. on the East Coast. A-Rod is watching the end of the game while spooning with Madge in her townhouse. Jeter's already on his third date of the evening. Joe Buck is wondering if he gets paid by the inning.

10:10 p.m. Sherrill tosses another frame. If the Orioles were in the race, this might be an issue. As it is, Francona will probably get a nasty letter from Wild Bill Hagy. From beyond the grave, of course. It looks like Kazmir is on for the 15th. And as Buck noted, "Once Kazmir takes the mound, the clock is ticking. Maybe we can have the Hall-of-Famers pitch!" Yeah, if you can wake them up.

10:18 p.m. Brandon Webb mows down the AL in order. The Big Canadian will be leading off the bottom of the 15th! Let's see if Kazmir can throw a scoreless frame and give the Big Canadian a chance at a walk-off home run, thus giving him the HR Derby title and the All-Star MVP award in one fell swoop! Yeah, I'm getting a little loopy again.

10:28 p.m. Well, here we go! Kazmir blanked the NL in the 15th, so here comes the Big Canadian against Brad Lidge. And he leads off with a single to center! Let's see the Big Canadian swipe a bag now...

10:36 p.m. YES! I KNEW IT! The Big Canadian's wheels win it for the American League! Morneau slides in ahead of Corey Hart's throw, scoring from third on Michael Young's sac fly to give the AL a 4-3 win in 15 innings.

And despite the occasional snark or sarcasm in this blog, it was genuinely cool to see the guys all celebrating after the game. Morneau and Quentin wrapped each other in a giant hug, Youkilis jumped into the pile for some celebratory man love, and Francona got a nicotine-soaked hug from Jim Leyland.

J.D. Drew gets the Chevy MVP award from a relieved Bud Selig. A few New Yawk mooks are still around booing. And all is right in the world as the AL wins another All-Star Game. Good-night, everybody!

7 comments:

RJ said...

PD, thanks for your public service. May you be paid time and a half for your efforts. I am going to have to resign to reading the rest in the morning to find out how this all goes down. It's now getting late even for you Pacific Timezoners!

Anonymous said...

PD, this stuff is too funny. Were you thinking this up all day or are you just this good? I swear the players hate Selig. This is incredible.
TB

Anonymous said...

Uggla is starting to get into a groove over there at 2nd...still has a shot at MVP if he can jerk one out next time up.

And how did Marmol make the team? Yuck.

Anonymous said...

Oh, goodness. I just jinxed Uggs. Boot.

PDizzle said...

This is all off the cuff, T-Bone. Man, it's after midnight where you are! Hard to believe how long this game is going.

Anonymous said...

Well, job well done PDids. Morneau is poised to score that winning run...

Dave said...

Great game, but I want my five hours back!