Note: I posted this to all my cousins on Facebook today. I'm the second-oldest of 18 cousins on my dad's side, and I was 10 when my grandfather died on May 24, 1979. As such, most of my cousins didn't really get to know him all that well, if at all. So I felt compelled to write this and share it with them today. RIP, Grandpa.
My cousins -- today is the 30th anniversary of the death of our grandfather, Thomas Patrick Donnelly Sr. If you get a chance, give your parents a quick call because he will probably be on their minds today.
I know most of you don't remember him much if at all, but I was lucky enough to have had him around for the first 10 years of my life, and I kinda feel like I owe it to you all to let you get to know him a little bit better.
From my little-kid perspective, he was a HUGE man -- he might have been only like 6-foot-2 (not sure, ask your parents!) but his personality was massive. He had a deep, booming voice and a loud, roaring laugh, and with that thick shock of white hair and a perpetual twinkle in his eyes, he was the center of attention in any room he entered.
From what I remember, he loved kids and cats and crossword puzzles, not to mention trains and painting and of course Grandma. He had countless friends and seemed to make new ones every day. And when my dad got MS, Grandpa was the one who kept him from sinking too low, from completely giving up. It was Grandpa who told my dad he had to keep fighting, no matter how hard or painful it got, because he had a wife and two young sons who needed him. It was Grandpa who basically said, "You WILL recover, dammit, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." If you ever wonder where you got your stubborn streak, it was from Grandpa.
It certainly was a shock to lose him so young, just three weeks before his 64th birthday. I know he would have enjoyed spending time with you all -- buying you comic books, sneaking a cookie from the jar with you, pretending to pick you up by your ears just to get a rise out of Grandma, all the things he loved to do with my brother and me. And I know I would've loved to have gotten to know him as an adult too.
I never knew my other grandpa, and thus have always felt at most somewhat ambivalent toward him or his memory, so for those of you who didn't know TPD Sr., I wanted to share my memories today so that maybe you can feel a bit closer in some way to your grandfather. He was a great man and I still miss him, and today's the perfect time to ask your parents -- his children -- about him if you can.
Happy Memorial Day,
PD
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Captain Freedom -- G. Xavier Robillard
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Wilco (The Album)
About Me
- PDizzle
- Minneapolis, Minnesota, United States
- After four years in the desert, I found my way back home.
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3 comments:
Pat,
Thanks for taking remembering Dad. He was all you saw and more. Not bigger than life, but full of life.
Dad loved to learn, loved all his kids, and always had a special place in his heart for your Dad.
When your Dad got sick, I never saw my Dad so stressed. And then he kicked in, and essentially said, "we are not going to go passively into the night" For the rest of his life, he took his health and your Dad's health seriously.
In that way, he still lives with all of us.
Jim
Thanks, Pat --
Yes, I was thinking of Dad on the 24th. 'Can't believe it has been 30 years. He has been physically gone for almost half of my life. But he lives on in our hearts. As long as he is in our hearts, he is with us.
Marg
Patrick,
Thanks for your remembrances of TPDSr. He was a man who was the center of attention as he entered a room as you said. This in spite of a somewhat shy personality that he covered well. He was my father-in-law but also a father to me. I have never felt worse than I did when he died so suddenly.
The unique thing about him being gone 30 years is that he still seems almost as much a part of my life as he did then in so many ways. People still remember him, tell stories and anectdotes about him. Go to Sleepy Eye and he is still legend there. He was the most simple complex man around and there will never be another like him. However, having said that, I see glimpses of him in his children, but perhaps even more so in the grandchildren, many of whom were born after his passing. It is most endearing and sustaining to see these reminders of a wonderful faith filled man and proof positive that indeed, the apple does not fall far from the tree. He does live on in all of you and we were all fortunate to have him in our lives.
Again, thanks for your remembrances of Grandpa-he loved you very much as do I.
Mom
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