NFL Week 4: What we learned

OK, back in the blogging saddle again and it's time to look back on Week 4 of the NFL and see what we've learned:

1. Brad Childress needs to get out more. The Vikings coach comes across in his quotes like one of those pencil-necked business weenies (usually marketing types) who spend all their time around fellow business weenies, and thus cannot divorce themselves from their own internal lingo that only people in their industry understand.

To wit: After Sunday's loss to Green Bay, Childress was asked to comment on the Vikings' final offensive play, where receiver Bobby Wade was jostled by Packers cornerback Charles Woodson while the ball was on the way. The Packers intercepted, the game was over, and this thought was going through Chilly's X-and-O addled brain:

"My understanding of the interference rule is that you can't be collisioning a guy when the ball's in the air; yeah, I have a question about that," Childress said. "Yeah, I do think it was interference."

Now, that quote did come from Sid Hartman's column, so you might be tempted to question its accuracy, but Mike Max usually does a good job of writing Sid's column. Plus, it's something you can just hear coming out of Chilly's mouth. He loves "coachspeak," talking about the "plus-20-yardline" when he means the opponent's 20-yardline, or how the quarterback "delivers the recitation" in the huddle -- i.e., how he tells his teammates what play they're going to run.

Chilly, even though you're 1-3 and headed for a disaster not seen in these parts since the days of Les Steckel, it might be a good idea to get out of the office for more than three hours a day. Come out from behind the Perkins menu. Go for a walk. Maybe spend some time talking with somebody who doesn't pepper his speech with terms like "zone-dog" and "mike-backer." Just get some distance from the game for a couple hours a week -- it'll do you good.

2. Speaking of people who need to step back and take a deep breath ... I wasn't around to hear this live on Sunday, but according to numerous reports, ESPN's Chris Berman actually said, "Rooting for Brett Favre is like rooting for America. It just is."

Now, I've always said that you can tell an idiot Viking fan from a good Viking fan by his opinion on Brefarve (John Madden's pet name for the Packers QB). Good fans appreciate him even though they hope the Vikings beat him every time; idiot fans say that Brefarve sucks and think Vicodin jokes are still funny.

But I'm long past the time when I've lost my stomach for the media's fawning over Brefarve. If you believe the media, Brefarve could broker peace in the Middle East, balance the U.S. budget and whip up a mean lobster bisque. Before breakfast. He might even be as amazing as Chuck Norris.

It's not Brefarve's fault that most of the sports media turns into a horde of drooling jock-sniffers at the mere mention of his name. So I don't resent Brefarve for the weekly dose of hyperbole over his admittedly great accomplishments. I just wish people like Chris Berman would get over their man crush long enough to provide some journalistic objectivity.

Wait, I just typed "Chris Berman" and "journalistic" in the same sentence. My computer will now self-destruct in five seconds if I don't move on.

3. I'm getting worse, not better, on my parlays. A 2-for-5 effort was positively Childressesque. I said I was worried about the Ravens, and rightly so. I guess I was close on the Steelers-Cards over (one more TD and I'd have had it), but I completely whiffed on the Seahawks-Niners over. Of course, had I known Trent Dilfer would be prominently involved in the outcome of said game, I would have stayed far, far away.

Still, I can do better. And without the Vikings to kick around this week (1-3 ATS, under 3 of 4 games), I will have to find another sure thing upon which to base my picks. Send me your suggestions.

That is all for now. We return you to your regular programming.