NFL Week 5: What we learned

We learned that I seem to have a better feel on the over/under lines than the point spreads -- I nailed the under on the Jags-Chiefs game and the Niners-Ravens game, but I missed the three spreads I picked, with two of the teams (Saints and Packers) losing outright.

We also learned that Breffarve is human, although John Madden can't quite bring himself to admit it. Breffarve made an amazingly stupid play -- throwing across his body back to the middle of the field, deep in his own territory, with the Packers dominating the Bears and leading by 10 in the third quarter -- but in the wake of the play, all Madden could do was talk about what a great defensive play Brian Urlacher made for coming up with the interception.

I tell ya, if I'd gone 4-for-4 on my parlay during the day and only needed that Packers cover to cash my ticket, I'd have driven through the night, arrived in Green Bay sometime on Monday and personally throttled Breffarve. Well, OK, no I wouldn't have, but that was just a brain-dead play. Now, can we finally put to bed this nonsense that somehow Breffarve is a different quarterback this year, that he's turned himself into a conservative game-manager type of player, rather than the free-wheeling gunslinger he's been in the past 15 years? To borrow a phrase from the Calcutta Clipper himself, Breffarve is who we thought he was!

We also learned that the Patriots cannot not cover the spread, no matter what forces conspire against them; the Bills cannot handle prosperity, but Monday Night home dogs are still tough to beat; Trent Green apparently got a D in physics at Indiana; the Stillers are a pretty salty home squad; the Lions are a pretty horrible road squad; the Browns might be pesky this year; the Colts have a nice jayvee team too; the Chargers have a pulse; the Broncos are an 0-5 team that has two wins thanks to some quirky field-goal shenanigans; and the Vikings finally figured out a way to get through a week without a turnover.