Depends on the definition

Republicans and their media backers love to bring up former President Bill Clinton's "depends on what the definition of 'is' is" prevarication from his civil suit testimony, which led of course to his impeachment. Now one of their favorite sons might be playing the same game.

Of course, you remember Roger Clemens' testimony on Capitol Hill regarding his HGH/steroid use, and how the Republican lawmakers fawned over the multiple-time Cy Young winner, while Democrats seemed to back skeevy trainer Brian McNamee. Now, it's come to light that Clemens apparently has been diddling the fiddle of country singer Mindy McCready, and the relationship may or may not have started when she was a lass of 15.

Clemens, through his well-compensated mouthpiece Rusty Hardin, has categorically denied all charges ... or has he? Here's the salient sentence in the statement Hardin released in support of his client: "At no time did Roger engage in any kind of inappropriate or improper relationship with her."

Of course, that depends on what your definition of "inappropriate" is. Clemens left himself some wiggle room here (much more than he's left in his 42-waist trousers these days). One could argue that if Clemens and his wife Debbie have an "open" relationship, then having sex with McCready wasn't inappropriate in that sense. And given Clemens' demonstrated gift of self-delusion, it's not a big leap to suggest that he's convinced himself that he thought McCready was 18 when they met (she was singing karaoke in a bar, after all), thus she was the one who engaged in an inappropriate relationship and he did nothing wrong.

It's the same kind of logic he's used to avoid taking responsibility for his gargantuan head and roid-rage outbursts that have marked his last 10 years or so -- i.e., I thought McNamee was putting B-12 in my butt, so if he put steroids in those needles, it's not my responsibility.

Thus continues the sad, comical, and all-too-predictable fall from grace of one of the game's best pitchers. Give Barry Bonds some credit here -- at least he knew when to shut up.