Sports Illustrated/HBO/NBC's Peter King -- noted latte lover, youth softball coach and NFL bon vivant -- has made his Monday Morning Quarterback column a weekly must-read for those of us with pigskin fever. His trademark feature (note: not actually trademarked) is "10 Things I Think I Think." I'm going to blatantly rip off Mr. King's bit with tonight's blog post, which I call "Sunday Night Quarterback, As In I Want My Quarter Back That I Bet On The Friggin' Colts."
10 Things I Think I Know, Sunday Edition
10. I think I know that the Colts gave that game to San Diego. Let me count the ways: Marvin Harrison fumbles at the Chargers 23 as the Colts appear poised to take a 14-0 lead and stomp on the Chargers' necks in the first quarter. Peyton Manning throws a terrible interception in the final 30 seconds of the half, costing the Colts at least a field goal attempt. Manning throws another pick on a little flip to Kenton Keith inside the Chargers 5. There's three scoring chances the Colts let trickle down their collective legs. All the endorsement money in the world won't keep Manning warm at night when he thinks about those three plays all winter.
9. I think I know that Harrison should have told his coaches he wasn't ready to go. It couldn't have been more obvious on the fumble after his first catch in 2 1/2 months -- he didn't want to get hit. Not just that he wanted to avoid contact like any receiver would -- he truly didn't want the Chargers to touch him, so he flopped all over trying to avoid Antonio Cromarte and dropped the ball as if he'd been shot when Cromarte made contact with his legs. I know, he'd have been ripped for being soft if he'd sat out this game, but if he was that scared of contact, he owed it to his team to stay on the sidelines.
8. I think I know that Philip Rivers looks like a guy I'd want to punch in the face. It's not just that smug smirk that he wears when he's happy -- he just doesn't know to shut up when he's ahead. When the ESPN cameras caught him berating Denver's Jay Cutler at the end of the Christmas night win over the Broncos, I thought maybe we missed part of the story, like Cutler questioning Rivers' lineage or making fun of how he played against the Vikings this year. But after seeing Rivers taunting the Indianapolis fans at the end of the game on Sunday, it's pretty clear -- he's just a jerk. Can't wait to see what Murph and Sully have in store for him next Sunday in Foxboro after a couple 13-14 beers in the parking lot.
7. I think I know that Marty Schottenheimer is as confused as the rest of us. Maybe Norv Turner has a horseshoe hidden in his ass that we don't know about, but seriously, how can this guy be 2-0 in the playoffs with essentially the same team that Marty couldn't coach to a postseason win?
6. I think I know that the Colts will never figure out how they lost to a Chargers team with Turner on the Motorola headset, Michael Turner and Darren Sproles in the backfield, and Billy Volek under center. Seriously.
5. I think I know that Wade Phillips' offseason just got a lot more interesting. The top-seeded Cowboys couldn't beat the Giants for a third time this season, extending their playoff drought to 11 years and counting (their last win came against the Vikings in 1996, the year that Brad Johnson got the Purple to the playoffs when he took over for Warren Moon, for crying out loud!). Offensive coordinator Jason Garrett is one of the hottest coaching candidates in the NFL, and it's been assumed that Phillips is just keeping the seat warm until Garrett is ready to assume the reins. But Jerry Jones might have to pull the plug on the Phillips Era right now if he wants to keep his boy Garrett in Dallas, with the Redskins, Falcons and Dolphins all looking for a new head coach.
4. I think I know that the Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson story will get talked to death all week. I'm already sick of hearing about it and I haven't even turned on the radio yet. Nobody can convince me that watching another 20 hours of tape would have prepared Romo to better deal with the Giants' pressure and secondary. The Cowboys didn't get anything from their wide receivers -- T.O. was gimpy, Patrick Crayton was doing his Marcus Pollard impersonation, and Terry Glenn was at least better than Harrison, but not by much. A few Coronas in Cancun with a brainless starlet didn't cost the Cowboys this win.
3. I think I know that I'm also already sick of the "Eli Manning is all grown up" story line. However, it is pretty ironic that he advanced to the conference title game on the same day that his celebrated older brother fell flat on his face with one of his worst postseason performances ever. Do you think Peyton will be in the suite at Lambeau with Archie, Olivia and Cooper? Wearing the Peyton Manning Face? For all that Eli has had to endure, I think he deserves a framed photograph of that shot on his mantel.
2. I think I know that Manning's play on the road must have some people befuddled, but it's no surprise to anybody who knows a thing or two about New York sports fans. So, you say that Eli relaxes and cuts loose on the road, while he plays tense and tight at home when the boos rain down on his first incompletion? Go figure. They say the Philly crowds are tough on their hometown heroes, but do you know the difference between an Eagles fan and a Giants fan? The Eagles fan takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it. Giants fans don't deserve this success, and I hope Eli realizes the mistake he made on draft day and walks away from the Meadowlands the first chance he gets.
1. I think I know that Glen Mason is breathing a huge sigh of relief right now, because if the Cowboys and Patriots had reached the Super Bowl, at some point during the week the national media would have realized that both Marion Barber III and Laurence Maroney had played at the University of Minnesota -- at the same time, no less! -- and the best Mason could get out of them was a victory in the Music City Bowl. Talk about blowing your window of opportunity ... nice going, Mase.
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4 comments:
I think, no, I KNOW the Cowboys suck. What a total disappointment!
Ann! That is tragic -- I hope the collective mood around the Metroplex isn't too suicidal this week. Hang in there ... training camp is a mere six months away!
Did I catch a Common phrase there with that "couple 13-14 beers"????
Do you think Dungy perhaps has a "Higher Calling" and his days coaching are numbered? Reminds me a lot of McCartney at CU back in the mid 90's.
Yeah, as much as I love Dungy as a person, I dislike how he has become a spokesman for the anti-gay marriage amendment in Indiana and elsewhere. I'm fine with him holding his opinions, but I just don't think there's a place for that in sports, on either side.
It brings to mind a famous quote from Michael Jordan, when he was asked why he doesn't get involved in Democratic politics: "Republicans buy shoes, too." It sounds cynical on the surface, but he just as easily could have said, "Some Bulls fans are Republicans, too," and the sentiment would have been the same.
McCartney and his whole Promise Keepers thing were a train wreck for that program. It's taken over a decade for them to turn it around, but it seems like Dan Hawkins has them going in the right direction now.
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